Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Less talking, more tequila
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
