he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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