I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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