p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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