You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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