The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
