can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
