i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
