She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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