Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
