you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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