so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
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Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
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I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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