this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
