just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Alive.
So much puke
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
