have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
