Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
