i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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