My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish I only lived at night.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
