i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
