tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
