who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
