So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Can vaginas get frostbite?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
