OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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