It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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