i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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