when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
