i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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