The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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