there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
