Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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