I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
