My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize