sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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