He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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