You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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