Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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