Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
