There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
