Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
