I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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