can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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