i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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