I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
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I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize