I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
