On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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