I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
