Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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