Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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