there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
