you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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