Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
