my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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