dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Sext me about skeletons
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
