just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
