He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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