For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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