If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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