Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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