ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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