Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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