He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize