So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
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I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
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All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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